


You Make Me Strong

by MsHydeStylinson



Series: Take Me Home [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Actor Louis, Baker Harry, Eating Disorders, Epilogue for When You're Lost, Family Fluff, Famous Louis, Fluff, M/M, New York City, Non-Famous Harry, POV Louis, Parenthood, Past minor character deaths (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 20:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16750816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsHydeStylinson/pseuds/MsHydeStylinson
Summary: One February night, a few years back, had really been game changer for struggling Hollywood actor, Louis Tomlinson. The handsome curly haired stranger he accidently bumped into, swiftly took a leading role in Louis’ personal life.Their love wasn’t something to be taken for granted, even if it was inevitable. With the help of Harry, Louis was finally able to face his past and fight his inner demons. But was that enough to bury them forever?This story takes readers back to New York City to see how their life has changed four years later. Are the old ghosts still haunting them, or did they finally get their fairytale ending that has been written in the stars since the beginning?***Epilogue for When You’re Lost.





	You Make Me Strong

**Author's Note:**

> Here it it, the epilogue I promised you. I sticked to my decision to post it as an sequel after all. 
> 
> First, I want to thank my wonderful beta Bridie. Without you I couldn't have done this. I'm forever grateful.
> 
> If you haven't read my first fic When You're Lost, this probably doesn't make any sense. Or it might raise questions you want get answers and you get them by reading WYL :) So I recommend starting with it.
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments you have left to WYL, they mean so much to me. Hope you enjoy this epilogue too!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is not real, never happened, complete fiction, etc. Please do not take any of this seriously, as it is all fake. Please do not translate or repost on any other site.
> 
> Title taken from "Strong" by One Direction.
> 
> Credits for the owners (Larry in heaven, Itsgaytiss) of the images I used in moodboard.

 

[Strong - One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuIK2wCoy5A)

February 2021

Louis

 

”Clifford, get down! You silly dog!” Louis laughs at the huge dog who has his front paws settled against the kitchen top. Louis pushed him gently, but it didn’t stop the dog swinging his tail briskly as he stared up at Louis with his brown eyes peeking out from under his curly hair.

 

”Alright, alright. You’ll get your food, just wait a second. And you too. You aren’t any better, are you?” This time Louis addressed Blue who was giving her share of begging stares. ”You two really know how to team up on me. Don’t you?”

 

Louis reached down to take their bowls, filled them up and placed on the floor. Clifford rushed towards it and had already eaten almost half of its contents before the kitten took her first bite. She was taking suspicious glances at the dog as if knowing he would be very interested to taste her food after finishing his own.

 

”Don’t fight too much this time.” Louis sighed watching them and took a sip from his tea. He heard Harry singing softly to Lily through the baby monitor and couldn’t help a big smile spreading onto his face. He emptied his mug and put it in the sink before made his way upstairs.

 

Harry was on the bed, a happy looking baby laying on his belly and they seemed be in the middle of conversation.

 

”Hey.” Harry dimpled when Louis entered the room and laid himself next to the two most important people in his life. ”How are you?” Harry asked and stretched his hand to give Louis encouraging squeeze.

 

”I’m ok.” Louis shrugged. He knew without spelling it out, Harry could tell he was a nervous wreck right now.

 

”You can do it and it’s going to be fine. I know it.” Harry said firmly and with every cell of his body Louis wanted to believe him. If he had been nervous about his coming out a few years ago, it felt like child's play compared to this. What the hell had he been thinking when he agreed to do this? It was the question he had been asking himself a lot in the past few days.

 

He didn’t answer Harry, just snuggled closer and reached his hand out to brush his daughter’s cheek with his thumb. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe they had a baby. It felt like a dream, even in the middle of the night when Lily was screaming her lungs out. They got married two years ago, and before that they had seriously started to talk about having a baby. They both felt they were ready for it.

 

It had taken almost two more years before they were actually holding their baby for the first time. Louis couldn’t help but glance towards the picture of Harry and Lily hanging on the wall. Louis had taken it in the hospital when Harry was holding their daughter in his arms for one of the very first times. His hair was up in a bun and he was staring at her with so much love in his eyes it made Louis’ heart swell every time he saw the picture.

 

Louis moved his eyes back to Lily who was babbling eagerly. She was the most beautiful baby Louis had ever seen, but what else would you expect with Harry’s genes. When they had begun to talk about their options, whether they would adopt or have a surrogate, they had eventually decided on the latter this time. But Louis was quite sure at some point they would adopt too. But for their first one, Louis had wanted it to be theirs biologically, or in this case Harry’s.

 

Louis remembered how Harry had reacted to Louis’ proposition of Harry being the donor. He had been so pleased but had feebly tried to object to it for quite a long time before he had agreed to do it. They had taken their time to find surrogate who looked more like Louis, it had been one of the Harry’s terms.

 

The other one had been that Louis would be the one to decide the baby’s name. It had felt like a huge responsibility, but when they had found out they were having a girl, there had been only one option in Louis’ mind. He had just hoped Harry would like it too.

 

”I love it, Lou!” He had breathed out, eyes shining, when Louis had told him he wanted to call their daughter Lily Johannah.

 

”You do?” He had asked smiling before he had carried on. ”Johannah is obviously for my mum. And Lily. Do you still remember when you bought me that pink lily after I had been casted in Midnight Memories?” Harry had nodded slightly. ”I think that was the night when I fell in love with you, even if I didn’t realise it then. That’s why I want to name her Lily.”

 

”You never told me that.” Harry had sniffed and wrapped his arms around Louis to embrace him tightly. ”I really love the name, Lou. I do.”

 

”Yeah?” Louis had asked again when he eventually push Harry a bit further to explore his face.

 

”Yeah. And I love you too.” Harry had answered and kissed him gently, one thing leading to another. Once again.

 

”I think we should start getting ready.” Harry said startling Louis from his thoughts. ”The car will be here in half an hour.”

 

Back to reality, Louis thought and once again his nerves reminded him of their existence.

 

”Would you hold her and I’ll get her bag ready.” Harry said standing up. ”I think her nappy needs to be changed, too.” Harry grinned when he handed Lily to Louis.

 

”Oi, you sneaky bas—”

 

”Language, Louis.” Harry furrowed cutting his words.

 

”Sorry.” Louis grinned unapologetically. ”I try, you know it.”

 

”I know, I just don’t want her first word to be f-u-c-k or something similar to it.” Harry smirked.

 

”Me neither, Harry. Me neither.” Louis said standing up and pressing a light kiss to Harry’s lips before heading to the bathroom. ”C’mon Stinky, let’s get you changed.”

 

Even if Louis complained about changing her nappies it didn’t mean he wouldn’t do it. Of course, he would. When he was home, he tried to do as much as possible to do his share of taking care of their daughter. Since they had started seriously talking about having children and after they had found out they really were going to have one, Harry had always said he wanted to stay at home with the baby and it wasn’t something negotiable.

 

”Louis, I want to stay home. It’s not a sacrifice or anything. I have my career, I know that. But I also want to spend time with our baby. And I also know you. You love what you do, it wouldn’t be fair to ask you to give it up.” Louis had opened his mouth to protest but Harry had stopped him.

 

”I know you are going to say I love my job too. That I also have dreams I want to achieve and you’re right. But I’m not burying my dreams of owning my own bakery, I’m just postponing them and for good reason.”

 

”But—” Louis tried to counter, but Harry just went on.

 

”I know you love kids and you will love our baby more than anything. But I also know you would go crazy if you had to stay at home with them. It’s not about you being a bad parent, it’s just your character. You know it too.” Harry had ended his speech.

 

Louis hated to admit that Harry was right. After a few more conversations, it had eventually been quite an easy solution for both of them. It could have been settled after the first one, but they both wanted to talk things through so there wouldn’t be anything left to bother either of them later. When Louis thinks about their situation now, he knew they made the right decision. Harry was born to be a stay at home dad and he was enjoying it with all his heart.

 

Harry and Lily had made their own daily routines. It was lovely to watch them together, but Louis couldn’t help that from time to time he felt the little glimpses of envy. Not for Harry or Lily as individuals, but for the bond they had created during the months. Louis had talked to Harry about his feelings, but he had said Louis shouldn’t worry that too much. Maybe he and Lily had their bond, but so had Louis and Lily too, he had said.

 

”Each parent has their own special relationship with their child. They might be different but neither of them is stronger than the other. If you want to know the truth, I get the same feelings sometimes when I see you and Lil together. I think it’s just natural, but we shouldn’t give it too much space in our minds.” Harry had explained, and it eased a lot of Louis’ worries. He had never believed Harry could feel the same too, but maybe it was just natural, like he had said.

 

Louis had decided to forget his own insecurities and concentrate on what he had. A beautiful baby girl he loved more than anything. Now, said wonder was laying in front of him with new nappy on. Louis blew a raspberry on her chubby baby tummy and made her giggle. It was an adorable sound and Louis would never get tired of listening to it, not after she had laughed aloud for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Louis couldn’t resist doing it again and making Lily laugh again before he dressed her up.

 

When the pink onesie with green frogs printed on the front was properly on, Louis picked her up from the table. She looked so beautiful, like a miniature Harry. She had brown hair, her eyes were getting greener and greener every day and last but not least, she had shallow little dimples. She definitely had Harry’s genes and that was something Louis was grateful for every day. Still smiling at the baby, Louis walked back to the bedroom where Harry was already waiting for them, bags packed. He rummaged through a drawer for a while before he pulled out a tiny, baby pink beanie and put it on Lily.

 

”Are you ready?” He asked Louis who nodded silently.

 

”Don’t worry. Just be yourself and everything will go fine.” Harry said gently brushing Louis’ cheekbone with his thumb and Louis leaned into his touch, trying to seek out all the courage he was going to need for today.

 

”Yeah.” Louis answered quietly before he made his way downstairs, Lily still in his hold. He took her overalls from the rack in the foyer and dressed her in the living room. Her car seat was waiting next to the sofa and Louis placed their daughter carefully in it. She was still so small and seemed to be drowning in there. But comparing her to how tiny she had been when Louis had first held her, she had grown so much.

 

For a moment Louis let himself sink into those memories of the day she was born. How nervous he and Harry had been when they had been waiting in the hospital, and when the nurse had finally come to announce their baby had been born, how happy they had been. Seeing Lily first time when she was still red and wrinkled, pink hat on her head, was a moment Louis would never forget. And when Harry had first laid their beautiful daughter in Louis’ arms, he had thought he would burst at any second. He had so much love for this tiny miracle.

 

And the feeling was getting stronger and stronger every day. In some weird way, he had at some point been afraid if he ever even has enough love for both of them, Lily and Harry. But how wrong he had been. Apparently, there wasn’t a maximum level for that. It was just a constant feeling that kept growing and growing every day. Louis didn’t complain. Not at all.

 

”Car’s here.” Louis heard Harry saying behind him. ”Will you take her?”

 

”K.” Louis answered curtly. His mind was full of thoughts but none of them seemed to transform into words. He put his shoes and jacket on before exiting the house. The driver was already waiting for them outside and rushed to open the back door when he saw them approaching. Louis fixed the baby’s car seat in and after it was securely set, he slipped into the seat next to Harry.

 

It was a quiet ride, for Louis at least. Harry was entertaining Lily next to him, but Louis needed his own silent moment before they would get to the studios. This had all been his own idea. When it had occurred to him for the first time, he had mentioned it to Harry who, of course, had been very supportive from the beginning. Next, he had had long talks with his therapist. When they were both satisfied with the results, Louis had talked to Liam who had made and arranged the needed contacts. And now he was here, scared for his life about what he was going to do within the next couple of hours. He had no regrets, none. He still wanted to do this, but at the moment, he just didn’t know how he was going to be able to.

 

Almost as if Harry had read his thoughts, he reached out to take Louis’ hand and squeezed it tightly. He didn’t let it go afterwards and without any words exchanged, Louis could feel all the encouragement and strength flowing into him through that simple skin contact. It was a power only Harry had over him and at the moment, Louis needed it more than ever.

 

Way too quickly they arrived at the underground garage where a production assistant was waiting for them with Liam. She introduced herself as Alice and led them to the upper floor where the studios where located. There was a dressing room reserved just for them and Alice gave them time to settle in before she started to tell more of the details.

 

Louis would go to make-up first and then he could choose his outfit from the clothes Liam had arranged here. Louis would be able to change few words with the interviewer before they start to film. They had already been in contact with emails and set the lines for the questions so there shouldn’t be any surprises. When Louis eventually returned, Harry had just finished feeding Lily and she was minutes away falling asleep.

 

”You look gorgeous.” Harry said giving acceptable nod for his outfit. Louis had wanted to keep it simple and not too formal. Tight black jeans, pale blue silk t-shirt and black blazer should do the trick.

 

Before Louis managed to answer, there was a light knock on the door. Louis went to open it and the smiling face of Jessica, the woman who was doing the interview, greeted him.

 

”Nice to meet you Louis, and welcome.” She said cheerfully. ”Should I come back a little bit later?” She asked when she saw a droopy baby in Harry’s arms.

 

”No, it’s fine. She is a good sleeper and she is going to pass out in any second now.” Harry answered. ”Come in, please.”

 

Louis introduced Harry and Jessica. After some compulsory small talk, they sat down and the knots in Louis’ stomach tightened. So far, his nerves had been under control, but now reality was kicking in again. This was really happening.

 

”So, basically, if you need a break in the middle of interview, it is ok. We can edit it out later. Same with if you want something to cut off, it is possible to do so. But obviously, we would appreciate it if we didn’t have to do that. We want to keep this as natural as possible. Any more questions?” Jessica asked at the end of her spiel.

 

”Can Harry be in the same room with Lily?” Louis asked immediately.

 

”Of course, he can. She is sleeping now anyway, so it’s not a problem.” She answered, and Louis sighed, relieved. That was all he needed to know.

 

”Anything else?” Louis shook his head in lieu of an answer.

 

”Shall we go then?” She smiled and opened the door.

 

They followed her into the relatively small studio, which was decorated very homely. It looked and felt cosy. Louis had been offered the opportunity to do the interview at their own house, but after he and Harry had talked, they had decided to decline the offer. They wanted to keep their home private. But this studio with a sofa and a couple of chairs around the coffee table, made for a relaxed atmosphere. Or at least as relaxed as it could be in this situation.

 

An assistant set up his microphone along with some other last-minute preparations. One more kiss from Harry and Louis was ready to sit nervously on the sofa. He could really do with a cigarette now. Quitting a few months ago had been relatively easy. A lot easier than he had thought, but the urge to smoke sometimes was still very strong. It wasn’t even necessarily the nicotine from the cigarette that he craved, it was more the ritual to ease his nerves. But a few deep breaths would have to be enough right now.

 

”Ready to start?” Jessica asked, and Louis nodded.

 

                                                                ***

“Our guest tonight is former Hollywood heartthrob, and now Broadway-singer, Louis Tomlinson who starred in the musical Midnight Memories over three years now. In this rare interview Louis is going to tell us more about what is going on in his life nowadays and what his plans are for the future. Welcome to an ABC News special, Louis.” Jessica made her opening speech and introduced Louis.

 

”Thank you for having me. It’s a privilege to be here today.” Louis smiled at the camera.

 

“I believe you are a familiar face for many people, but how about we start from the beginning?”

 

”Sounds good to me.”

 

“You became known on the X-Factor UK when you achieved third place there in 2008. What happened after that?” Jessica asked smiling brightly.

 

”After the X-Factor everything happened so fast. I was called to Hollywood to audition for a new musical. I got the part and moved to Los Angeles soon after.” Louis let the memories flow. “The movie was a hit. I think it was a big surprise for everybody, especially for me. That’s how it all began. Within five years I had made five films altogether. Stars had aligned, and everything just clicked. I guess I was quite lucky.”

 

“How did it feel?”

 

”It was thrilling, for sure. I loved it and it really felt like a dream come true. But it was also scary to be alone in a foreign country. I was just a kid when I moved to Los Angeles.” Louis explained. ”Everything had happened so fast and sometimes it was hard to even grasp what was going on. Suddenly, I got all the fame and money, but I also felt I had lost myself in the middle of it all.”

 

“What you mean by lost yourself?” There was hint of worry audible in her voice. She was kind of an actress too, Louis thought.

 

“I’m gay and I’ve known it since I was a teenager. I was only out to my family and closest friends before the X-Factor. I never hid who I was. But in Hollywood they didn’t think that way.“ Louis sighed.

 

“Are you talking about the gay rumours that were circulating then? About you and your friend being a couple?”

 

”Yes, I am.”

 

“So, they were not true then?” She asked frowning.

 

”They were partly true, obviously. I am gay. But me and Zayn, were have never been a couple. He has been my best friend since I was kid.”

 

“How did those rumours effect you?”

 

”I wasn’t bothered, but some distances were not so pleased. I was even refused to be seen with Zayn in the photos, just to avoid more rumours. That was also the reason why they arranged for me to get a girlfriend.”

 

“Are you saying that your girlfriend for years, was not actually your girlfriend?” Jessica looked so shocked that Louis wanted to giggle. Points to her.

 

”Yes, that’s what I’m saying. She was my beard. I was an actor whose main target audience was teenage girls. I just couldn’t be gay. That’s what they told me. Unfortunately, it is quite common in show business for closeted persons to have PR-relationships. It’s hard when you can’t be yourself.”

 

“But you are out now?” The smile was back on her face.

 

”I am.”

 

“What changed then? Why you were able to come out this time?”

 

”I was able to change my management team. And the atmosphere here in Broadway is very much different to what it is in Hollywood, much more open.”

 

“How has Broadway treated you so far?” She asked next.

 

”It’s been really good, thank you very much. At first it was quite scary to perform in front of a live audience when I had been used to films. When you are doing a movie, you can always retake the scenes, but with live performances, you don’t have that chance. But I have really enjoyed doing this show. When I was casted in Midnight Memories, I never thought it would still be running three years later.”

 

“The show really has been a success. But now you are doing a closing show in two weeks?”

 

”Yes, we are. This whole time has been incredible and our whole team is amazing. I’m really going to miss the show. I have loved doing it.”

 

“Do you already have plans for the future? Are you going to stay in Broadway? I bet your fans want to know.”

 

”First, I’m gonna take a small break, I want to spend more time with my family. But in the future, there might be a new production for me. Looks like I’m going to stay in Broadway.”

 

**“** Sounds mysterious. We’ll just have to wait then?” She asked.

 

”I think that’s what you’ll have to do. I’m sure you will hear about it when time is right. But I have to say I’m quite excited about it.”

 

“You haven’t been in the public eye so much lately, especially not with interviews?”

 

”I think it’s very different being a Hollywood actor in box Office films than singer in a Broadway show. PR is totally different to them. Of course, there is promotion here too. I had my time in the limelight, but I prefer this situation. People still recognise me, but it’s easier now. I can walk in the street with my family without getting stopped by fans. It’s really relieving.”

 

“What made you do this interview now?”

 

”Like I said, people still recognise me and my name. Charity and different kinds of projects have always been very important to me and if my name helps with it, I want to use it for good cause.”

 

“Are you telling me there’s a new charity project you are participating in?”

 

”Yes! I’m going to be the face of this campaign starting next month. I have been very privileged in my life in so many ways. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or anything. But I just want people to know that you never really know what’s going on behind the scenes. And I don’t only mean celebrities. I’m talking about every single one of us.” Louis took a deep breath knowing what the next question would be.

 

“Sounds important. Do you want to tell us more?”

 

”Yes, it’s about— I have had… I’m sorry, can we take a break, please.” Louis said and without waiting for permission, he jumped off the sofa and ran to Harry who immediately embraced him.

 

”I can’t do it. I just can’t.” Louis mumbled against Harry’s chest.

 

”Yes, you can.” Harry said brushing his hair soothingly. ”You just need a small break to collect your thoughts.”

 

”I think I need you there.” Louis said in a small voice.

 

”You what?” Harry asked.

 

”I want you there with me. Sitting on that sofa next to me. Harry, please? Could you do it for me?” Louis pleaded. Harry had been there all the way. Maybe he should be there right now, too. Perhaps his last-minute panic was a sign for it.

 

”Of course I will. If it’s ok with them. You don’t even have to ask.” Harry responded simply.

 

”You’d do it?” Louis smiled, and Harry nodded one more time. ”I have to talk to Liam.” Louis broke away from his husband and saw Liam standing couple of meters away with the production assistant. Louis made a beeline for him.

 

”Liam! I need to talk to you.” Louis breathed out and tugged him away from the young woman.

 

”What is it, Lou?” Liam smiled without any worry in his eyes. Which was weird because this was Liam they were talking about.

 

”I don’t think I can do this alone. I need Harry there with me. Could you go and ask them if it’s ok?” Louis asked nervously. What if they said no?

 

”It’s more than ok. They really want him there too.” Liam answered immediately.

 

”What—?” Louis furrowed.

 

”Ok, Lou. Don’t be mad at me. But when we settled this interview, I might have asked about the possibility to Harry participating it too.”

 

”WHAT—?” Louis yelled. ”So, you’re saying that you thought from the beginning that I couldn’t do this by myself?”

 

”No. You _are_ doing it by yourself.” Liam corrected him. ”But Harry has been with you every step of the way. I just thought, you might need his support on this step as well. I didn’t say anything to you because I wanted it to be your own decision. But if you needed him, it would be ok.” Louis really didn’t know if he should hate or love Liam.

  

”I need him there.” Louis settled. Liam knew him too well and had made a correct prediction, wouldn’t it be stupid to be angry at him right now? He already had too much on his mind anyway.

 

”Ok. I’ll go to tell them.” Liam replied and made his way to the director. Louis nodded and walked back to Harry.

 

”Yeah, it should be ok. Liam has talked to them about this earlier.” Louis told him.

 

”Umm— He might have mentioned it to me also.” Harry said biting his bottom lip nervously.

 

”Of course, he has.” Louis sighed. ”Honestly, I don’t know if I like it or not, that you two scheme behind my back, but I know that I need you with me. So, I’ll let it go this time.”

 

”He did it because he knows and cares about you, Lou.” Harry said cupping Louis jaw and planting a small kiss on his lips.

 

”I know, H. I know.” Louis managed to say before Liam approached them, the production assistant following him closely.

 

”Ok, here’s the plan—”  

                                                                ***

A good half hour later, Harry was ready, hair and makeup done and dressed in some clothes he had brought from home just in case. Lily was still sleeping peacefully, despite all the fuss around them.

 

”I’d like Lily here, too.” Louis said hopefully.

 

”I know, you would. But I think we both know it’s not the best solution. Even if they’d would blur her face, it would still be a hot and uncomfortable place for her to be.” Harry said, and Louis hated to admit he was right.

 

”She can be with Liam.” Harry continued. ”If you really want me to sit next to you.”

 

”I certainly do.” Louis confirmed one more time, squeezing his hand assuredly.

 

”You can take this.” Harry took his wallet and pulled out a small picture of the three of them. ”Put it in your pocket and you can feel us together there.”

 

”Thank you, love.” Louis smiled when he took it, sparing a glance at it before shoving it in his pocket. As soon they were asked to sit on the sofa, Louis felt his nerves begin to build again. Even Harry’s presence wasn’t enough to ease them.

 

”Are you ready guys?” Jessica asked when she sat down on the chair across them. ”I thought we could talk about you two first, if it’s ok, and then move on. They would get to know Harry a little bit. How’s that sound?”

 

”I’m fine with that. How about you?” Louis threw an asking look at Harry, who nodded.

 

”Good. Let’s get started then.”

 

                                                                ***

 

“Welcome back. Louis’ husband Harry has now joined us. Nice to have you here too, Harry.”

 

”Thank you, Jessica.” Harry smiled at her.

 

“Would you like to tell our viewers how you two first met. I heard it wasn’t the traditional way to meet your significant other.”

 

”Well, I was judging the X-Factor UK when Harry was auditioning for it. We saw each other there for the first time about eleven years ago.” Louis looked at Harry with a big smile on his face.

 

“Oh, that sounds romantic!”

 

”Romantic might not be the first word to describe it, but it definitely was not the most traditional way to meet your future spouse.” Harry laughed.

 

”Poor Harry here totally froze when he saw me as a judge.” Louis grinned.

 

“And then you met again a few years later?” Jessica sighed, fascinated.

 

”Yeah. We bumped into each other accidently four years ago and here we are now.” Louis reached to take Harry’s hand on his own.

 

“You fell in love very quickly?” She was staring at them with heart eyes and Louis couldn’t help but smile.

 

”I think we did. But we were friends first.” Louis said.

 

”I think that was, and still is, important to us. We are each other's best friends and it’s a good base to build a relationship.” Harry added.

 

“Was Harry the reason why you wanted to come out?”

 

”No, _I_ was the reason why I came out. But of course, he had influence on my decision. I just didn’t want to hide who I was anymore.”

 

“There had been rumours about your relationship before, but when you got engaged, you made it official?”

 

”Yes. It seemed natural to announce it then, so we did it.” Louis nodded.

 

“You got married two years ago and now you have welcomed a baby daughter into your family a few months ago. Congratulations!”

 

”Thank you.” They said in unison.

 

”We are very happy. Life is treating us good now.” Louis added.

 

“But that hasn’t always been the case?”

 

”I had some really rough times in my personal life. Six years ago, my mum was diagnosed with leukaemia and later that same year, she passed away. It was hard and took me quite a long time to get over her death.” Louis said. Still, after six years, it wasn’t easy for him to talk about his mum without getting emotional. Pain was still there, but wasn’t so sharp and painful it had been before.

 

”And about two months after we had started to date, my stepdad died of cancer as well. He had been in my life for a long time, so it was really hard for me afterwards.” Harry continued.

 

“It doesn’t sound an ideal start for a new relationship. Does it?”

 

”Well, no. But at the same time, it brought us really close together. We were there for each other all the way. The ups _and_ the downs.” Harry replied.

 

“But there was something else too?”

 

”Yeah.” Louis said shortly. This is it, he thought.

 

“And it has something to do with the campaign you are going to do?” Jessica smiled at him encouragingly.

 

”I’m going to give my face to this campaign which is meant to raise awareness of eating disorders.”

 

“Why you?”

 

”I— Three and a half years ago I was diagnosed with— bulimia.” Finally, it was out. No return now.

 

“That is very brave to admit. How do you feel now?”

 

”I can’t believe I just said it aloud to everyone. I have been terrified about this. But now it feels good to have it out there.” Louis smiled relieved.

 

”You should be proud of yourself. I definitely am.” Harry said looking at him so proudly.

 

”Thanks, love.”

 

“Why did you want to tell everyone about your eating disorder? It’s a very personal thing after all.”

 

”Like I said earlier, if I can help with my actions somehow, I want to do it. Eating disorders are much more common than we think. Like you said, they are very personal and it’s hard to talk about them. I had come a long way before I even began to believe that I could admit my disorder to someone. But if my story helps even one person, it’ll have been worth it.”

 

“Who was the first person you told?”

 

”Harry. But I didn’t tell him. He caught me in a situation that didn’t leave too much to the imagination. Afterwards, I told him everything.”

 

“How did it feel, Harry, when you found out?”

 

”I was in shock. Not because of his illness, but more because I hadn’t noticed anything. I felt guilty and helpless, too. After I found out, the signs were all there, on display. But when I had no idea what I was looking for, I couldn’t see them. But I felt I should have known.”

 

“That is quite common, isn’t it?”

 

”I think it is. I was good at hiding everything. Before Harry found out, I had had bulimic behaviour about four or five years and no-one knew. I had thought about it a lot later and I believe that, subconsciously, I wanted to get caught in the end. I couldn’t say it aloud, but I had no idea what else to do. It definitely was a shock when he found out, but when we eventually talked about it, I felt so relieved. I didn’t have to do it alone anymore.”

 

“That helped with the recovery?”

 

”I think it was the first step on that long road. I admitted I couldn’t do it by myself. That I needed help. From Harry and from professionals, too.” Louis said, and let Harry continue.

 

”After that conversation we decided we had to be truly honest with each other and to ourselves. It has been hard, for both of us, but we have kept that promise. It hasn’t always been easy, I must admit. But we found our ways to express ourselves. I think I can say this on behalf of both of us when I say that writing has been very important to us. Sometimes it’s easier to write things down than say them aloud. It really doesn’t matter how you do it when it is suitable for you. But like Louis said, I don’t think we could have done this by ourselves. We needed professional help too.”

 

“You have gone through some therapy then?” Jessica asked Louis.

 

”Yes, I have. The treatment helped me to accept and love myself again, I learned about my illness and it gave me tools to use against it. A lot of talking, but also going back to the basics, like learning to eat again. It sounds easy, but it has been very difficult to let go of old habits and behaviours, and the beliefs behind them. Learning to eat without fear and guilt.” Louis told.

 

”The most concrete thing I have been able to do has been with the food. Since the beginning we have cooked together quite often, it soon became our hobby. But during the years it has become more significant than we thought in the beginning. Good, regular meals have been key to his recovery. I can’t fight with his inner demons, but I have been able to help him with stability in his life.” Harry explained.

 

“But you are recovered now?”

 

”I’m good now. To be honest, I can’t yet say I’m totally recovered. I don’t know if I can ever say that. It’s been a couple of years since I vomited the last time, sorry for the image.” Louis said to the camera. “I believe I will always have to be careful because it is too easy to slip back into old habits. But I have learnt to notice the signs and I have created methods that I use when I see them coming. I’m still seeing my therapist from time to time, but not regularly anymore. But to answer your question, I’m in a good place now.”

 

“That’s good to hear. Do you have some final words before we finish?”

 

”I think my ’Given a chance’ tattoo says it all in one. A few years ago, I never thought I could be happy again. Too much had happened, and I was struggling badly with my eating disorder. I still think that in some things I was lucky, like meeting Harry. But I have also worked very hard to be who I am now. The road hasn’t always been easy, but maybe that’s the reason why I can truly enjoy what I have now. I know I have deserved it. It’s never too late to ask help. It’s something you shouldn’t be afraid of or be ashamed to do. It can be the most important decision of your life. It was mine. It gave me a chance to be happy again.”

 

“Thank you, Louis. Thank you, Harry, for being here today. There will be contact information for the campaign’s webpage on the screen. You can read more about Louis there. There will be also be a chat site and a help-line you can contact. Thank you for watching, now it’s time for the News.”

 

                                                                ***

 

”You did it! I’m so proud of you, love. So proud.” Harry pulled him into a tight hug immediately when they had finished their interview.

 

”I can’t believe I did it.” Louis smiled at him happily. ”But I’m glad I did.” The interview would be aired at the end of the week and he’s still going to have many freak outs before it, he knows. But right now, he’s just relieved.

 

”Me too, baby. Me too.” Harry kissed him briefly before they walked over to a waiting Liam and Lily.

 

”Lou, that was amazing! I’m proud of you, mate!” Liam said with a hug.

 

”Thank you, Liam.” Louis smiled back at him.

 

”The car is already waiting in the garage for whenever you want to leave.” Liam said when they heard Lily starting to make sounds predicting that she was just about to wake up. ”Do you guys have something on Saturday evening? We were thinking that you’d like to come for dinner then? Niall and Kate are coming, too.”

 

”Like a proper triple date night?” Louis teased.

 

”Well—”

 

”Oh, c’mon, Li. You and Zayn had been living together since he moved out three years ago. You have been together even longer. I just admitted I had bulimia on national TV, I think you could admit to your close friends that you and Zayn are couple. What d’you think?” Louis said tilting his head questionably.

 

”Alright, alright. Would you come to a dinner party me and my boyfriend are having on Saturday?” Liam eventually said, a pink blush dusting his face.

 

”Finally! Did you hear that Haz? He fu— finally admitted they’re a couple.” Louis almost yelled.

 

”That’s nice, Liam.” Harry said. ”And we will be there, just let us know what time will be good. But I think we should leave, Lou. It would be easier to feed her at home.”

 

”Yeah, ok. We will go now. But thank you one more time, Liam. I really mean it. You are such a good friend. I don’t say it often enough. Say hi to Zaynie for me and we’ll see you at the weekend.” Louis said and hugged a beaming Liam once more before turning to Harry.

 

”You can take her and I’ll bring the bag. You could already go to the car if you want to? I’ll just say a quick goodbye to them.” Louis said nodding towards the production team.

 

”Ok, see you there then.”

 

”Yeah, I’ll be there soon.”

 

                                                                ***

 

They didn’t talk much on their drive back home, but this time it was comfortable silence, not nerve-wrecking like this morning. In same quietness they entered the house. Harry took care of the baby and Louis went to the kitchen to warm her bottle. He also put the kettle on to make him and Harry cuppas.

 

He took the warm bottle and carried it into the living room where Harry was sitting on the couch holding Lily. Louis returned to the kitchen to get their teas before he sat down next to Harry who was already feeding the baby.

 

Louis snaked his hand around Harry’s waist and leaned his head against his shoulder sighing happily. He felt Harry’s lips pressing to his hair and he couldn’t help but tilt his head, so he could meet his lips to his own.

 

”I love you so much, Harry. I don’t think there are enough words to describe it. The love I feel for you and Lily.” Louis whispered.

 

”I know the feeling. I love you so much too. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe all this is true. How lucky we have been.”

 

”I know. I couldn’t have done anything like this without you.”

 

”Yes, you have. Don’t underestimate yourself.”

 

”Ok, I might have been able to do this all without you, but it would have been so much more difficult. You have been there for me all along. You, your love and the thought about us together. As a family. It has given me so much strength to carry on when there were days it would have been so easy just to give up.” Louis let his fingers brush Harry’s wrist before he was moving their hands making the rope and anchor tattoos align.

 

”You really have been an anchor for me. You have kept me steady in the storms of life. You have helped me to understand what it is to love and to be in love. I will always be grateful for that. I can easily say that I will love you for the rest of my life and if we weren’t already married, I would do it now. I know I sound soppy, but you have given me so much. Your love. Lily. What else could I ask for. I love you so much, Harry.” Louis said before he pressed his lips on Harry’s shushing him.

 

”I love you too.” Harry smiled anyway after they broke their kiss.

 

Louis smiled back at him snuggling closer and watching the sun blink behind the window. The weather was similarly crisp like it had been the night he and Harry had met again four years ago. It almost felt like some kind of circle, one era with so much fitting in it, was closing.

 

The years had been, without any doubts, the best of Louis’ life, but there had also been so much pain, grief and frustration mixed in with all that happiness. Now it finally seems that they were able close that chapter in their lives. Almost like today had been closure for all of it and tomorrow, there would be another blank page where they would be able to start to write their story from now on.  

 

He didn’t know what kind of story it would be. He only could dream now. Maybe a couple more kids, more love and happiness. Without a doubt there would be obstacles on their way in the future too. This is life they’re talking about. But for the first time in a very long time, Louis wasn’t scared of it.

 

He felt secure when he watched his small family. Clifford sleeping in front of the telly, Blue curled on the corner of the sofa, Harry and Lily next to him. Together they would win any battles. Because they were a team. A unit. A family.

And most of all, they were strong.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Now this fic is finally all finished. I poured my heart into it and must admit, I'm quite proud of what I archived. I, never in a million years, would have believed I could actually do this. But I did, and I enjoyed every single moment of writing. 
> 
> I'm sorry if there is some medical inaccuracies when Louis was talking about his therapy and recovery. I used the knowledge I have gone through with my own counselor when I'm trying to beat my ED. Hope some day I will be in same position as Louis and be able to talk about it without feeling shame. Positive thing is, I'm quite in a good place right now. No throwing up in months. Sorry about the images :D
> 
> Hope you liked this whole story. All the kudos and comments are much appreciated. 
> 
> My Twitter is @MsHydeStylinson if you want to talk or just to come say hi. Maybe some point you will get some previews of my upcoming fic, too.
> 
>  
> 
> Tumblr


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